Our Hope

It is a huge peace to know where you're going after you die. And it is a huge blessing to know what will happen to your loved ones, as well. I can't imagine the pain and hopelessness that people who don't know Christ, our Hope, feel on a daily basis. If any of you reading this don't know or understand that Hope, please e-mail me. I'd love to talk with you about it.

Celebrating Papa

Isaac's grandpa died this week, and we celebrated his life with family this weekend. Since his death was expected, we had plenty of time to visit him and say our goodbyes (actually, several times!). Because he was a man of strong faith, we know that he is happily in heaven and would much rather be there than here. We'll miss Papa, but I know he's not missing us right now!

These pictures were taken right before Elizabeth turned three. Up until last year, Papa always chased Elizabeth down the hallways, jumped up and down with her, and skipped with her. She adored him. The last picture is of Papa stuffing a ball into Elizabeth's hood.

One time when Elizabeth and I were eating lunch with Papa and Nana, Elizabeth rolled an orange across the table and barely caught it before it fell. I started to quietly scold her, but Papa grabbed the orange and rolled it across the table to Nana! The two of them had Elizabeth in hysterical laughter and they rolled that orange all over the place, pretending to drop it, and catching it right before it hit the floor. That lunch really showed me what it must have been like to grown up with Nana and Papa!

Enabling

I love snowstorms, especially when everyone I love is home safe with nowhere to go.

As I anxiously waited for the snowstorm to start this morning, Isaac warned me against getting my hopes up. He called the media "weather terrorists," meaning that they play up the worst possibilities in order to boost circulation.

When I said that I knew that but I eat it up anyway, he called me an enabler!

Fine. I may be enabling them, but I think it's a cultural part of Minnesota pride in the worst weather we can find.

I used to pride myself on driving anywhere during a snowstorm. As long I drove slowly and carefully, I wouldn't let a bit of ice and blizzard-like conditions stop me! I've found that now that I have kids, however, my feelings have changed and I've gotten more nervous (I like to call it "prudent" or "cautious," though!). Now I question the wisdom of driving anywhere unless it's absolutely necessary. I even tried begging Isaac to stay home from work tonight to no avail. Oh, well. The girls and I will burrow into our safe, snow-covered home and pray for him to join us safely.

What's So Funny?

What could possibly be so funny as to put Amelie in belly-laughing hysterics the past two nights at dinnertime?

Oh. A big sister! Elizabeth's coughs, strange noises, funny faces, and raspberry spits leave Amelie helpless with joy.

Yesterday

Three full outfits. This does not include my spit-up covered shirt, my baby-poop stained pants, or the outfit that was ruined by a blowout after this picture was taken.

That's it. We're changing brands of diapers.

Sorry for the graphic picture.

Training through Hard Times

I've now run 3.1 miles in 34 minutes and I didn't feel like dying at the end! I realize this isn't a lot for some people, but I vividly remember barely making it three blocks from home before becoming unable to continue, so I am very proud.

I credit the wisdom of my running program with the change. It decrees a longer run, followed by a couple of shorter runs. Then it sets a new length record, and returns to the old one for a few runs. In this way, I kept building up time without feeling like the program was too much for me.

I think God sometimes trains us for hard times in the same way. After a difficult time of perseverance, the next few hard spiritual times seem easier to get through. He uses that time to refresh us and increase our endurance, so that we have the foundation to make it through the next spiritually stretching time. His training program is never too much for us: His yoke is easy and His burden is light, and He never allows us to be tempted beyond what we can bear! I'm happy to obey Him in the hard times and in the easy, knowing that He works all things together for the good of those that love Him.

Parenting Faux Pas

Elizabeth attended a preschool friend's 5-year-old birthday party on Saturday. When I RSVP'd to the invitation, I left a message saying we could come and asking if I should stay with her or pick her up at a certain time. When the mother didn't call me back, I went ahead and arranged carpooling with another preschool friend who was attending the party and lives two blocks away from us.

Her dad picked up Elizabeth and dropped off both girls at the party with no problem, then called me and told me what time to pick the girls up. However, when I arrived at the party at the aforementioned time, I found out that we were the only parents who hadn't stayed throughout the party! Tacky!

Now I guess I know for next time, although I have to confess it was nice to have Elizabeth out for the afternoon!

I've also noticed that I'll have to step up the goodie bags I give out at Elizabeth's next party. Gone are the days where I can avoid giving candy!

Only a Daddy, Part II

I joke, but Amelie loved it.

Sweet Sister Song

In the car, Elizabeth reached over to hold Amelie's hand and started singing sweetly to her:"Ami Baby, you fill my heart with joy..."

"Aww," I thought to myself. "Trite, but sweet."

"You are the baby I most deserved..."

That's a little odd but I figured it went with the idea that Elizabeth was "born to be a big sister." Then she continued,

"I bought you at the dollar store."

Okay, what?

On a related note, as a teacher, I'm trained to analyze the family pictures that preschoolers draw. They frequently draw the family member that is currently most important to them as the largest figure in the picture (usually themselves!). Elizabeth brought me a family picture that I thought was really sweet. It had a big Mommy and Daddy, an appropriately sized preschooler that she pointed out as herself, and one other large figure. "Oh," I said, "Is that Amelie?"

"No, that's Sydney [her cousin]. Amelie's over here in the corner."

Yep. I should have known.

Every Day

Every day is a good day for dressing up. Since Amelie doesn't fit into our dress-up clothes (and Isaac and I refuse to give Elizabeth permission to try!) Elizabeth had to dress Amelie up in burp cloths.
Side note: Doesn't Amelie look like Isaac? Elizabeth went through a stage that she looked exactly like him too. One difference, though, is that Amelie is a redhead! I don't know if her hair will stay that color or not, but it is definitely red at this time. We think it comes from my Grandma Mahle, the only redhead that we know of in the family. Thanks, Grandma! We think she's pretty cute!

Only a Daddy

Only a Daddy would give his 4-month-old a ride on his 4-year-old's shoulders! Check out Amelie's grin.

Big Praise!

Our school search is over for the time being: we have submitted our kindergarten application! We felt God's leading and are happy with the list of choices we submitted. Our first choice (St. Anthony Park Elementary) is a long shot to get into, but we are also very pleased with our second choice (Chelsea Heights Elementary) and can easily see our family at either one of those schools. We also have an application in at Nova Classical Academy, a charter school that is also notoriously hard to get into. If we get accepted there, we'll tour it and see how it compares with whatever public school St. Paul gives us. (We decided not to get our hopes up by touring it before getting accepted!)

I was pleased to find out that St. Paul really does offer some excellent public schools. There are certainly ones that I want to avoid, but there are quite a few good choices out there (EXPO was our other top choice, for you St. Paulites reading this).

After we toured Chelsea Heights this afternoon and made our final decision, I was eager to turn in the application. This is more than two weeks before the deadline, but in order to make sure we turned it in on time, I drove it to the Student Placement Center and handed it in myself. Isaac poked a little fun at my paranoia, but during the five minutes I was there, three other parents turned in their applications in person too!

We are very thankful to God for His leading in this decision and for the peace He has given us, and we will continue to pray that we get accepted where He wants us, knowing that we will be content whatever the circumstances!

Overly Good Preparation

Isaac and I were very careful to prepare Elizabeth for the fact that Amelie will put everything she can grab into her mouth.

Elizabeth really picked up on this idea, and she loves to help. So now she holds toys in front of Amelie's face and says, "Suck this, Amelie!"

It's really hard not to laugh.

Goodbye, Dear Friend

We sold my beautiful piano this weekend over Craig's List. It's the piano I grew up with, and I loved it, but our house simply doesn't have room for a baby grand any more (arguably, it never really did!). I will really miss it. Amelie and Elizabeth will too.

In Chains

Blessing Daddy

Isaac's been working really hard lately and staying very busy, and he even had a seminar all Valentine's Day morning and afternoon, and then planned to score on the computer all evening. So Elizabeth and I decided to bless him for Valentine's Day. We decorated the house with a construction paper chain. We couldn't fit all of it in a picture and later estimated it at about 80 feet long. (This took us several hours and lots of staples. Amelie thought the colors and crunch of paper was fascinating, so we just kept going!)

Elizabeth laid out a trail of carefully made Valentines to guide Isaac inside.

She prepared chocolate covered strawberries for dessert and chocolate covered Oreos for a present for Isaac.

She was so excited about blessing Daddy and showing him how much we love him! The hardest part was waiting for him to come in the door.

A Holiday Is Coming!

No, I don't mean Valentine's Day. That's nice, and I love the candy sales afterward, but who wants to go out when so many other people are going out at the same time?

I'm talking about Presidents' Day. That's right, the holiday I have been looking forward to for over a month. Why? Because my favorite thrift store (Unique) discounts everything by 50%! It's major shopping day! I've booked Isaac to stay home with the girls in the morning so that I can shop in the crowded aisles to my heart's content. I've even canceled Elizabeth's standing playdate with a friend so that I'm free.

I've been walking around the house for the past two weeks saying, "But Monday is comin'!" in that same southern African American voice that the famous pastor used when he preached the "Sunday is coming" sermon. I think Isaac will be really glad when Monday is over!

It's totally normal for a happily married woman to be more excited about Presidents' Day than Valentine's Day, right?

My Rescuers

Phone conversation from last night:

My mother: "Hello?"

Me: "Hi, Mom, it's me. What are you doing tonight?"

Mom: "Not much, I don't think."

Me [with a desperate twinge to my voice]: "Can we come over for dinner?"

My wonderful, understanding mother: "Sure, we'll be ready whenever you get here."

I love my parents. As I walked through their door, Mom bundled off Elizabeth and Dad took the carseat/baby out of my hands. Then they served me dinner and cleaned up and entertained my children and sent me home much refreshed.

We had visited yet another kindergarten yesterday afternoon and loved it, then found out that our top two school choices are impossible and notoriously difficult (respectively) to get in to: by listing one as our top choice we would give up all hope of getting into the other. I was stressed over that, and then Elizabeth picked up on my worry and fell apart herself. Then Amelie, who had gotten way overtired on the school tour and eventually sobbed herself to sleep, woke up sobbing again.

Looking at my two crying children and my husband who was about to leave for work, I called my parents. It was the right decision!

School Choice

In St. Paul, we have 63 elementary schools to choose from for kindergarten next year. That's just public schools, by the way. It doesn't include charter schools or private schools.

If you want to make friends with someone in St. Paul, simply ask them what they think of the schools. People with kids Elizabeth's age can talk about it for hours.

We're in the process of deciding what schools to apply to and what order to place them on our list. We'd appreciate any prayers!

Prayer Time with Kids

I have always struggled to have a meaningful prayer time with Elizabeth. I know part of it is that she's young, but part of it is that I haven't figured out the best way to go about it. I keep trying, though, and some of my approaches have had success. Here are a few of the things I've tried:

• Introducing the prayer by saying, "We get to talk with God tonight, the Creator of the whole universe. What do you want to talk with Him about?"
• Praying "Thank You" prayers where we go back and forth saying what we're thankful for
• Confessing, "Oh, honey, I need to talk with God now. Will you join me?"
• Keeping a list of praise/worship songs that are meaningful to me so that I can use them and not forget the words. We take turns picking a song and singing together.
• Asking what we should pray about before starting to pray
• Working prayer into everyday life for owies, scares, bad dreams, car trips, etc.

Tonight I went about asking for prayer requests in a really grown-up way: "How can I pray for you tonight?" Then I helped with cues: "What should we thank God for? What do you need God's help with?" (This actually brought up an incident at school that I had not previously known about!) Then I suggested a few prayer requests that Elizabeth could pray for about Isaac and me. This led to one of our better prayer sessions together, so I wanted to share it with you, too!

I'm excited to work a better prayer routine into my preschool class when I return in the fall. I'll continue the rotating job of "Snack Pray-er" to encourage praying aloud in front of people, but I want to add in a time of sharing prayer requests and praying for each other. We might switch it up, but I've thought of making a "Prayer Tent" (a sheet over a table or two) to make a different, special place to pray. I also want to try "Prayer Pages," simplified journaling/drawing where we write down or draw our requests and go back later to see how God has been working.

Who Needs to Work Out?

I just returned from a trip to the library. (Yes, it was open this time!) I walked straight in the door and hauled the infant carseat, baby, small diaper bag, and bag of books to the scale. My load weighed 47 pounds. Yes, 47. Why bother going to the gym?

Thank God for His Grace!

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be
pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ - to the glory and praise of God." (Philippians 1:9-11)

That is absolutely the prayer of my heart right now. I am so desperately in need of more love and discernment. I would love to be pure and blameless. And I want so much to be filled with the fruit of righteousness!

Thank God that the fruit "comes through Jesus Christ." No matter how hard I try, I fall so short. I am so grateful that God doesn't require me to do any of this on my own, because I can't. Thank You, God, for Your grace and for continuing to work with me and in me! I am in constant need of Your power and love.

Random Thoughts

• Amelie finally had a blowout and emergency bath when Isaac was home.
• Elizabeth described someone's singing voice as "clumpy like a horse's bray."
• I'm getting excited about changes that will make next year's preschool program really excellent.
• It's going to be very hard to go back to cold weather after this glorious thaw.
• Isaac's business is going really well and we're excited about all the things God is doing.
• Amelie woke us up at 4:00 this morning and didn't go back to sleep.
• I spent some special time with Elizabeth this afternoon and took her out on a "date."
• I noticed huge blisters on Elizabeth's toes and asked her if any of her shoes hurt her feet. "No," she said. "Not really. Just my tennis shoes." Appalled, I asked her why she didn't say anything. "They only hurt a little." She's too tough sometimes!
• I attended a children's ministry workshop this morning and was inspired by all the people who work so hard for excellence with our children and have such a passion for them. Sometimes I worry that I use my mind much more than my heart.
• I left the girls with my mom for over 4 hours this morning and everyone thrived, although Amelie was more than ready to eat when I returned!
• With my new freezer, I can actually buy ice cream sandwiches and nummy stuff like that!

My Poor Father

Well, my poor father tried. He worked very hard when I was little to expose me to stereotypically "boy" toys and activities. He gave me toy cars, built me wooden road signs for them, gave me my own little red toolbox, and many other things like that. He was more than willing to spend hours building and creating things with me. Yet despite his best efforts, I was never interested in building things with my Legos. I used them as houses for my little toy bears.

This one's for you, Dad! If you look closely, you can see the very same little bears.

(By the way, Dad adapted wonderfully to being the father of a girl with very little interest in boy stuff. He can play bears and Barbies with the best of them, and is an expert at un-knotting necklaces and getting tangles out of long hair.)

Making Myself Run

My runs lately have been few and far between due to below zero temperatures, treacherously icy sidewalks, Amelie's needs, and Isaac's very busy schedule. This afternoon, though, I got to run outside on this beautifully warm day (for February in Minnesota!). I had really been looking forward to it.

Once I started, however, I forgot how much I had been looking forward to it. The first several blocks were extremely icy, and I had to trot carefully. Once I hit dry sidewalk, it felt so good that I powered up and ran way too fast for my skill and endurance level.

By the time I hit the 15 minute mark, I wondered how I'd make it to 20. But I can't very well have a blog called "Running the Race" if I can't even do that, now, can I? So I kept going. I told myself I'd stop at 20. Then I told myself I'd stop once I got back to Snelling and Hewitt. Then I told myself I could make it to 25. Then once I'd made it to 25, I didn't want to feel continually defeated, so I went to 30.

Note: At this point, I had already passed my house and had to keep going in the other direction. Unfortunately, I discovered long ago that I should always start west from my house to avoid running uphill for the last two blocks! I ended my "long" run with very wobbly jello legs, but after I had recovered (for longer than I care to admit!) I felt really good about forcing myself to continue.

Another note: Those of you who have seen me play volleyball know that I'm not a dainty, pretty exerciser. I sweat and turn bright red. Then I stay red for a long time. It took me a long time to get over this and feel comfortable looking like this in public! This picture doesn't truly show the level of redness my face reaches. Isaac kindly told me that I had been about three times as red five minutes earlier!

My New Refrigerator

After hours and hours of research, here she is: the VanLoons' first major appliance buy. Isn't she beautiful? It was so much fun to arrange everything!

"After"

The "Before" picture wouldn't have been fit to print. Seriously, I swear this child has required more emergency baths than I thought possible. Why do all the good blow-outs happen for Mommy? And why do Amelie's blow-outs stain more than Elizabeth's did even though I use the same stain remover and am actually much better at scrubbing and cleaning right away? And why do I feel that it's appropriate to write a whole post about poop? I better stop before I feel compelled to describe the viciousness that led to this picture!

Visiting Papa

Our family went to visit Isaac's grandpa in his nursing home this week. Papa isn't as alert or responsive as he used to be, but he clearly perked up when he felt Amelie and heard Elizabeth's voice. We put Amelie in his arms, and he felt her all over and even gently repositioned her in his lap at one point. She was a trouper and let him hold her for quite a while. Elizabeth held his hand and talked to him, and put some Vaseline on his dry lips. Isaac and I shared memories of Papa and prayed with him before we left.

Happy Family

Amelie had her 4-month check-up today. She is growing and healthy. She weighs 14 pounds. Elizabeth at this age weighed 15 pounds 10 ounces! I'm glad I finally have a "peanut."