- Media: Most other families watch TV, and many of them keep it on in the background. Elizabeth never has watched it (other than football with her daddy!), and has only limited exposure to videos. Can I ask that they not watch TV? If so, should I ask Elizabeth or the other parent? What about computer games? I'm fine with the PBS Kids type of games, but can I assume that parents would supervise what their kid is teaching mine on the internet or do we need to talk about that?
- Food: It kills me, but I'm letting this one go. At least on playdates at someone else's house!
- Bossiness: Elizabeth can be very bossy with her friends. While we are working on this while alone, do I step in during the playdate or allow the friend to get bossed around?
- Sleepovers: Yes, this has already come up! How do you get to know a family well enough to let your kid sleep over at their house?
- Guns in the house: Every parenting magazine warns that you should talk about this with the other parent. Really? Do I have to?
- Random males: This actually terrifies me. Knowing the statistics of abuse and friends' fathers and older brothers and uncles and all that, I just don't like to think of Elizabeth around other males that I don't personally know and trust! (Don't worry. I won't ask parents if they think someone in their house will molest my daughter.)
Friday, November 20, 2009
How Much Is Too Much?
We are entering a new world of kindergarten playdates. They are different from all our previous playdates, in which I have been good friends with the parents. I recognize that I need to give up some control (my friend Heather and I always share exactly what the kids ate at our houses, right down to how many strawberries!) but I don't know much is too much.
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1 comment:
Great questions, and the best answers are ones that might not make you the most popular mom.
Having said that, I think it is important that you DO get to know the other family very well before a sleep over. A play date is a bit more casual and carries a great deal less exposure.
Yes, you can and should ask the other mom to either leave video games and TV off the agenda, or to at least share with you ahead of time what video games and shows she allows her child to watch.
I also agree with you to skip making any issue of the food. You are building good eating habits into Elizabeth and they won't be erased by occasional indulgence at a friend's house.
And yes, I think it is wise to ask outright about guns in the house, but you can ask wisely, as in, "If you have hunting or other guns in the house, can you tell me how they are secured?"
Lastly, and most importantly, continue to assure Elizabeth that should she feel uncomfortable about anything, she should call you, at anytime, from anywhere.
You have brought her up well and she will be recognize danger signs and be responsible to report them to you.
Now, relax.
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