Caps for Sale

Sometimes I feel like I'm wearing 5 different caps: wife, mother, self, home-maker, and growing Christ-follower. The trick (that I haven't mastered yet) is wearing all those caps at the same time. I feel like I can focus on really doing about two of those excellently at a time. The rest have to wait for their chance to shine.

For example, I would love to be the perfect wife for Isaac: making his lunches and dinners, assuming some of the household chores he takes responsibility for, spending hours in prayer for him and his business and direction, really focusing on him and his needs while he's home, planning special times that we can share together, maybe even running or playing racquetball or tennis with him.

I would love to truly nurture and disciple my girls and give them all they need: healthy food, interesting and fun outings, hours spent listening to Elizabeth read, reading aloud book after book (chapter books for Elizabeth and baby books for Amelie), time spent simply listening and talking and helping them grow, working with Elizabeth on tying her shoes, sitting at the table with her now and helping her with a puzzle, devoting all the time and attention to Amelie as a baby that I did to Elizabeth as a baby, creating memorable family times, doing meaningful Bible reading and devotions with them, serving together, et cetera and et cetera.

I would love to take great care of myself by exercising regularly, going on long runs, getting the rest I need, expressing myself through blogging, encouraging and being encouraged by my friends, maybe even engaging in a hobby or two (long time no scrapbook!).

I would love to keep my house clean and organized and welcoming. I'd like to go through it and simplify and donate extra stuff, scrub down the corners and the places I avoid, plan a garage sale to empty out our baby things, establish (re-establish?) a thorough weekly cleaning plan, do something - anything! - with our basement, garden diligently, cook healthy and delicious meals, and so on.

And I would love to grow in my relationship with God and know Him more and more personally. I want to distinguish His voice and His will. I want to spend hours each day studying His Word, communing with Him in prayer, lifting others up to Him in prayer, interceding for missionaries and persecuted Christians, and reading godly books that will edify and encourage me. I want to truly serve Him and treat other people the way Jesus did, making time for them constantly throughout my day. I want to be part of the body at church and serve wholeheartedly there. I want to share His love with those who don't know Him and constantly act and think with an eternal perspective.

And that list isn't even exhaustive! What about being a good daughter, visiting grandparents that I would dearly love to see regularly, seeking out bargains to be a good steward with our money, making or buying the perfect Christmas gifts for each loved one...

So what will I do about all these caps? I think that the trick is three-fold: I need to rely on God rather than myself, I need to integrate all the different caps into one united identity, and I need to prioritize and focus only on the best things.

And slowly, slowly, he walked back to town calling, "Caps! Caps for
sale! Fifty cents a cap!" (Esphyr Slobodkina)