Isaac's Great Lines (Men, Take Note)

Yesterday, I was bemoaning a statistic I'd just read in a pregnancy book: 80-85% of women experience incontinence after their second birth. Isaac, who has been married going on eight years now and always knows the right thing to say, responded, "Don't worry, honey, you're always in the top 10-15% of everything you do."

I've always wanted to write a book for men about the right things to say using some of Isaac's great lines. This one is my favorite: I was deciding between two skirts to wear, and asked Isaac which would look better. He didn't even have to think: "Well, the first one makes your legs look great, and the second one makes your butt look great." Isn't that the best answer ever?

Also, early in our marriage when we used to get more sleep than we do now, we both sleep-talked (slept-talked?). He pulled me over to him (in his sleep) and said, "Put your head on my chest. That's the way I like to sleep."

He's said a bunch of perfect things like that, but I'm forgetting the specifics. On a non-romantic (but HILARIOUS) note, he has one line that has made me laugh every time I've thought of it for years. We were in the bathroom getting ready for bed one night, and Isaac had just finished cleaning his ears with a Q-Tip. With a perfectly straight face, he turned to me and asked, "Have you ever noticed that ear wax tastes saltier in the winter than it does in the summer?" He was joking, of course, but he totally got me - I'm still laughing as I type. (I've tried since then to beat that line, but I can never think of anything that doesn't have to do with ear wax or boogers, and I can never keep as straight of a face, so I think I have to concede to Isaac as the big winner.)