Remember my analogy of how sleep training is similar to the way God trains us? (http://allisonvanloon.blogspot.com/2009/01/sleep-training.html) He had to train me last night.
Isaac and I had one of those marital discussions about money that leave me feeling kind of unsettled. This "unsettled" feeling happens when I take my eyes off God and His faithful provision and start foolishly trusting in our own provision for ourselves. Even as Isaac and I talked, I knew this was happening, so I was careful to constantly pray, asking God for His wisdom, to change my heart, to speak to Isaac as the head of our household, to make sure my motives were proper, etc.
Still. Even with my good intentions, my flesh kept getting in the way. After the discussion was over, Isaac (being a man) rolled over and went to sleep. I lay there, praying and stewing and praying and thinking and praying and trying not to stew! Finally, I listened to the Spirit telling me that the discussion was over. I was welcome to keep praying, but it wasn't going to change anything that night. I should just go to sleep!
So I did. And as always, God is faithful. He is in charge of our life and our finances.
I think that as a woman who Biblically submits to my husband, I have the much easier role. I simply need to trust in God, submit to my husband, and remain prayerful. God will help my husband make the right decisions and implement them. It's poor Isaac who has so much responsibility and has the ultimate job of hearing God's voice and aligning our household to what He says. I don't envy him this role or responsibility, and I am thankful that he shoulders it so competently and uncomplainingly. I am honored to do my best to support him as the leader of our home.
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